Wrong things to say

A call comes into the office, Brett answers and tells me its Andrea, put the call through to me, as usual I say hello in a comedy way…. oh dear

Me “S’up biatch”

Caller “This is not the biatch - this is the biatches mother”

Me “…… oh erm sorry hi… don’t hurt me pleeeease”

Brett “uncontrollable laughter”

I am so going to get shit for this one:( ……….

Kuga loving

Now that is a nice crossover profile if ever I saw one

Now that is a nice crossover profile if ever I saw one

Of late I’ve started to be mocked for my changing views on what cars I have found appealing.  Sure I love the sporty supercars, no wait for the most part I don’t :/  Anyway My recent choices of affordable car have come under some fire from a couple of my more car savvy aquentances.

So then I have to say the I am fucking loving the new Ford Kuga’s profile on the Indivdual range could this be any nicer I think not!!!

Recently I have also taken a liking to the Volvo C30, Nissan Cube3

Interesting ass, and you thought I was a boob man!

As most people know I have a think about the rear clusters on cars, mostly they just annoy be because of the lack of design time they get given in comparison to the rest of a car.  Few clusters get me going and even fewer I appreciate on a level other than “meh”.
That today as changed, now although I don’t like the look of the clusters I want to talk about, the design and the way they are integrated into a production car is second to none, I don’t think I can honestly say I can recall a car where the front and rear clusters are so well matched.
The car I’m talking about, the new Ford KA take a look at some of the pictures of the special editions shown at the recent Paris motor show.  Ok not only have Ford done what few auto makers manage to do in a reasonable time frame, that been unify there entire range using one coherent design language but they have also (with the new KA at least) managed to unifiy the front and rear of the car with uniform design.
Normally I wouldn’t get this excited about clusters that I really don’t like the look of, but the shape of the clusters mirroring the front projectors I find unbelievably awesome!  Finally a company as created something that just looks right! Granted not to everyone’s taste but there is no denying that the new KA just looks right in all aspects nothing on it looks out of place.
Now if only they could make a nice looking car they know how to get the design working together!

Desk Meme

It’s that time of year again! Whoo I hear you all shout, Yes it’s the show us your desk space meme.  Who care?  Dunno I have to admit I do find seeing friends desks marginally interesting and since several of people I know have already posted similar recently I thought I would join in.  So here is a impromptu shot of my desk at home with no editing etc done to it.

IMG_1162

Click on the image for the tasty flickr annotations to whats what. But you already knew that right?

Best video on the internet this week goes to…..

I will save this and watch it many many times its almost as good as AMV hell

Meme(me)

I do naturally look pissed off :/

I do naturally look pissed off :/

  • Take a picture of yourself right now.
  • Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
  • Post that picture with NO editing.
  • Post these instructions with your picture.

As a inclusion in a Meme wave on several other blogs I read here’s me doing what I normally do.

The wrong side of wrong

Animated flame gifs, no ok just fucking no.  Back in 96 those things looked fucking stupid, not only did they annoy and offend they too an age to load.  Now 12 years on people (and I am using the word “People” very generously here) are using them in fucking forum sigs.  Why What is the fucking need in having animated flames, they looks shite, for the most part animated gifs looks shite let them die a death.  For all of around 18 seconds they happened to be cool until ever fucking one started putting up sites with them used ever 2 frigging words.   Could they get on my nerves much more.  Actually yes, thankfully the times I use MSN Messenger on a windows machine are few and far between, but when I do you can almost gaurntee some fucking dipshit will send a fucking message with one of those little fucking animations in them.  STOP IT.

While I’m on with things that are currently annoying me.  The resurgence of the dreaded Comic Sans MS seems to be making something of a come back of late.  Now come on people I really can’t begin to stress how important this is.  IT’S SHITE IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, DO NOT USE THAT FONT.  Once enough people see sense and I have some semblence of power one of my first actions will be to publicly beat anyone using that fucking font.

GTalk hates me

I would love to know why google talk will not lete me chat to the people I actually want to talk to but will let me talk to every other person seemingly on the fucking planet.

Photography

After one of my usual lengthy deliberations about do I really want something and will I actually make use of it a couple of months back I went out a purchased myself a DSLR, a Cannon 400D with a couple of lenses with the intention of spending more time doing something I would enjoy.

Well after a while I’ve got around to posting some of the stuff I’ve been up to, not the best I grant you but I’m better than I was when I started and trying to learn as much as I can for no reason other than fun.

I’ll get some more recent ones up in the next couple of days, I’ve moved onto manual settings now so some of the ones I have taken over the last couple of weeks are maybe a step back.

Anyway for those that have asked about them you can see them after the jump.

My Flickr set

Lazy weekends: What a fucking waste.

Well the weekend is almost offically over, thank fuck for that.  It’s been a boring one, no it’s been more than boring I think I would have almost have rather watched football than be this fucking bored.

The problem?  I guess there is a fuck load of stuff I want to do and could have done, it was just a lack of anything to do it with.  I’ve been going though a phase where I am not almost certain than I have little to nothing in common with almost everyone I know, sure I share this and and that interest on a very shallow level with a couple of friends but thats about it.  Case in point I have several friends who are gamers, I play with said friends on a regular basis - problem is none of us really like the same games other than one or two which we play to death then it gets boring.  So I tried to fit in a little more and play the game that everyone is playing, I tried I really did to get into it but not no avail, CoD 4 is just no fun for me in multiplayer:/

Other than that though it seems like the people I do like to spend time with are getting less and less interested in the things that they used to be into and thus conversation runs shallow and well it all goes to pot really.  Ironically a lot of the people I really do have a metric fuck tonne on common with either live on the other side of the world or the opposite end of the country.

So then what I have I done this weekend?  Well not a great deal.  Other than Friday night where we hung out with some Dan for a while the weekend as been a utter waste of time.  I’ve not even done any work as well its just not interesting me at the moment.  On the plus side I was that bored I have actually managed to create a working tag heirachy and tag everything in f-spot, get my home dir tidy and put everything where it should be.  Something I’ve meaning to do for what seems like ever.

I tagged some more music which is good I guess, listened to Death Magnetic which I enjoyed did a shit load of ironing and ate some not very interesting food.

Oh yeah I still have a iPhone, I’m getting a tad sick of all the shit about it now, it’s still the best phone for what I want as annoying as it is. Yes it does annoy me that I have one I don’t need people constantly reminding me,  No I don’t hate freedom no I don’t suck apples tangy cock it just happens that it does everything that I wanted better than anything else on the market.  I do in fact loathe iTunes with a vicious passion I despise having to use it to manage my phone and yes I beat myself on a daily basis about the matter.

My Dad goes into hospital tomorrow for a operation (because people normally go in for fun :/ ), I’ve not seen a decent movie in ages nor have I been to the cinema to see any potentially decent movies most fucking annoying.  I’m getting a barrage of questions from people who seem to think I am the be all and end all of every tiny query they have JUST USE FUCKING GOOGLE AND LEARN SOMETHING.

On the upside I’m going to attend the Bradford LUG this week, and off to WendyHouse next weekend at least it’s something to look forwards to, hell fellow geeks and chicks in corsets as to have some positive effect on a guy right?

I’m going to bed in the hope the morning will come and my life will not be so fucking boring with the  break of a new day.  Maybe I will be in a better mood too.

……….

No that last part is just stretching it a tad too far.

LOL’s

Ben “P what colours yours?”Bytey “330 Nanometers man”
Ben/Jack “What the fuck P?”
Ben/Jack “The fuck you talking about”
Bytey “Laser Pen you?”
Ben/Jack “I was asking the colour of your Laptop”
Bytey *recursive laughing looping*
Ben “FFS P don’t start that shit again”
Bytey *snort/giggle/ etc*

Commuting hell guv

I’m sure if you commute to work on public transport like I do most days you will have your own tales of woe, observations of the sorry state of life that sometimes you find yourself surrounded by.  Of course I write every so often of the random things I encounter and my some times negative (though perfectly valid IMHO) opions of these people and situations.

With that in mind let me recount my must recent brushes less desirable population of the local area.  On the train then the other day I had the missfortune to sit oppsite a total fucking moron.  Not uncommon in these parts I grant you but this guy looked like a total fuckwit, sporting a cruddy old trackie and not one, not 2 but 3 mobile phones!  Sat there with my headphones on minding my own business I was glancing around and see this fucking reptile looking dipshit funking down to some tunes too, but rather than listening normally not this dipshit was getting right into it vocally so much so I could hear him over the top of my music. “Hu Yeah Wicked Yeah Wicked Boom” etc Wanker.  He looks over at me and gets down with it some more.  Loser.  Then he starts picking at his crotch.  No doubt having aquire knob rot from, I don’t know - his Mum or something.  So the dude comes round asking to see tickets, as usual I show him mine all is well until he asks sir chav-a-lott to firstly get feet off the chair and secondly for a ticket.

Of course he resists and utters some shit about moving his feet then tries to barter with the conductor about the price of a ticket, but get this Mr ‘I have three (pay as you go knicked cheap ass) phones’ comes back with the importal line “I don’t have any money but how about if I give you three cigs”.  Motherfucker got kicked off the train, alas they waited until the next stop to do so rather than just throwing him out as we sped along the Airevally like I had hoped.

Secondly and this is better, it really shows the low that hit the city, no doubt not the only one but hey.  Again I was at the station waiting for the train which was running a tad late.  In my own little world of blissful ignorance of whats going on around me I get a tug on my arm.  Turning a little I see this thing, I can really only describe it as a thing some hag matted greasey rats tails for hair and sporting a tracksuit and some cheap yellowing gold.  Pausing “today was a good day” (Ironic that track was playing at the time), the thing speaks to me again the rotted mouth on it opening into a black abyss and course words croak out “I give you blow job for a quid I need some money for a taxi, come on under tha arches?” WTF

Woah No fucking way back the fuck up.   Seriously I was scared.  Off all the people on the platform she comes up to me and offers me a blowjob for a quid.  It’s not as if I was the closet person to the edge of the platform, maybe the tallest so most visable but wtf.  I checked my pockets right then just in case it had pick pocketed me.  All there she grunts again “Well how about it?” Of course I told this crackwhore to fuck right off I don’t pay for it and if I did I certainly would not let her do it.  She looked like some decaying leather loosely hanging off a skeleton.  She walked off grumbling and propsitioned someone else I moved sharpish to the other end of the platform in case she ninja’d dyson style onto the Bytey penis and demanded paying.

It’s a sorry state of affairs that both of these people are allowed to live, what fucking service do they provide to the community at large (well other than bargin basement blow jobs seemingly)?  Fucking crack riddles junkies making life shit for everyone else.  Maybe we should help them?  Yeah by fucking shooting the scum in the fucking face and making the place safer for everyone.  Now no doubt some of you are thinking its harsh and I’m a bastard for suggesting that we should give these people enough free durgs to OD, but think of it, so all of them would be dead, we could burn the bodies and use them for fuel for a while saving money.  Taxes would be lowered since we would not have to pay for NHS treatment, housing, policing etc and everyone would be happy.

Next we should just fucking neuter the lot of the fucking twats that wear those stupid fucking track suitsm sport hoop earings so big they call them dubs and rock around with the generic looks and the benefit attitude.  I’m fucking sick have having these good for nothing inbred excuse for people getting in my fucking face making me want to hurt things.  Maybe I could just hurt them, I’ve never actually seen anyone literally quatered, how about it?

The call of duty 4:grind

Update:
Scratch that after a massive rush of adrenaline I just fucking did it!

I’ve been a fan of FPS gaming for many a year,since doom got me hooked in fact. Over the years i’ve played through a myriad of shooters and killed countless mice and keyboards on missions to rid the world of everything from pig cops to head crabs.

The time came a couple of years back when I decided the cost of maintaining a gaming rig far out weighed the quality of new games that I would play on it, and so I’ve not used a of for gaming for a long while. TBH it’s really not been a problem since I was getting bored of the constant stream of generic shooters so I gave them up.

Fast forward a few years and I play one or two shooters one the console, nowhere near to the level I could with a mouse and keyboard but at a decent enough level.

At least I thought I played at a decent level anyway. Call of duty 4 however as made me rethink it. The fun for me now as been sapped out of the game for me. Ok so I’ve been playing it on the hardest setting but damn. It’s not fun it’s just a grind atm. The very reason I don’t play mmorpg’s is that it becomes a job, that’s pretty much how I feel about the single player campaign now. I have to finish it I did start it and I will not admit defeat but when it stops been fun to the point i’m not playing other games just so I can grind us stupid.

I’m certain if I had a mouse and keyboard it really wouldn’t be a problem, I guess that sounds like a excuse but it’s true I don’t have the accuracy on the pad to play how I would on a of and this a hard challange is becoming a almost impossible task since I’m becomming the biggest challenge doubting my ability to do it.

So anyone up for some death match then!?

Mummy 3 & X Files 2

Both are totally shit so much I have nothing to say other than don’t waste your fucking money.

Orange is the path to the darkside

Long time readers will know that I have many problems over the years with Orange and various issues with handsets and bills.  Well it’s that time of year (well 18 Months now nearly!) since I last had a new phone and so with the lastest bout of problems (my N95 constantly connecting to the internet and causing massive data charges that Orange will not give me back) its time to find not only a new phone but a new provider.

With out going into all the in’s and out’s with Orange I’m going to focus the post on something a little more important to me.  What handset to get.  Over the last week while I’ve been discussing this with friends I have come under a lot of flack for being a hypercrit.  Granted I can see that.  However I would live some advice on this matter since I have over the past four or five weeks given this some serious time in terms of research.

The crux is, I want a phone that does what I want it to do and does it well, I am not bothered about superflous features that I only use on occasion or not at all, I am not too bothered about battery life or a fantastic camera or even media playback.  However what I do need it to do is:

  • Be able to sync with multiple google cals and update/edit them
  • Have a good gmail client
  • As wireless
  • Good hardware spec, nothing sluggish
  • Use to make and take brief notes, use a dictaphone
  • Sync with my contact list (Ideally google again)
  • Have a good browser and large screen
  • RSS Support
  • Podcatcher would be nice but not a necessity
  • Easy to use input system ideally keyboard or good touch screen
  • Not run Windows Mobile
  • Have good support for some mapping software, not really GPS but just so I can see where I might be!
  • Is a reasonable size (the nokia communicator is just a bit too big :/ )

With that in mind I set out to find what I want.  Obviously the handset I want does not exist atm.  The google Android platform phones are not out yet and the Open Moko offerings are just not mature enough to actually work at a decent consumer level atm.

With a heavy heart then it was sad to say that the phone on the market at the moment and for the next 6 months at least that fits my requirements best is the iPhone 3G.  Yes I know I have heard all the jokes.  Yes seemingly I hate freedom, I know it does not fit in with my ethical stance on open source, but neither does the XBOX360 or the Firmware on my TV or the Car.  I cannot help that that only handset on the market that does what I want to the closest degree is one I have slated numours times.

I am more than a little torn about this, if anyone as can think of any handset that I can actually get in the UK on a good tariff at a reasonable price I would love to hear.

Morally I am against it and have taken some fair stick about it, maybe rightly so but I do think that atm it might be the right tool for the job for my requirements.  Yes it as problems I am the first to admit that.  The lack of MMS will no doubt be a issue as will the limited Bluetooth profiles, but the unlimited data tariff offered by O2 will allow me to send pictures via email should I need to and also use the online fucntions I require.

I could just get a simple phone this is true.  But for me one of the main ways I interact with the myriad of online tools I use is via my mobile and it is become more so as I and friends develop our own small social applications.  I will not be using the camera on it that much as I generally carry my D400 around with me anyway and very very rarly take video so that is not a issue.

So let the slating begin but if you have a better solution then come on let me hear it?

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